Sunday, August 31, 2008

When the Stars Go Blue

"Where do you go when you're lonely?
Where do you go when you're blue?
I'll follow you... When the stars go blue..."
-Ryan Adams, When the Stars Go Blue

OK.. the whole positive thing I kept on going about... I guess it was a whole load of crap because I am now my normal self and pessimistic as ever. It feels good being myself again! The whole optimistic thing was... different, I guess. I'm glad I did venture into that whole avenue... but I'm done venturing.

The reason I realized I was back to my pessimistic being was when I cried while watching a Private Practice episode... I admit. IT WAS PATHETIC!! I mean, who in God's name cries while watching TV? Unless the thing they are watching is sad... but what I was watching was definitely not sad! I don't even know what came over me... I was suddenly bawling about phantom pains and struggles... stuff deep, deep, DEEP down below. The ones I buried out of shame, fear and anger. The real pathetic stuff which I haven't bothered to tell anyone.

And then comes the big question: WHY?????
Answer: Hell if I know. Maybe because... I needed to believe I could get over it. But I never did. And the pile keeps growing. Damn...

I even felt lonely... a tiny bit of loneliness mixed with all that regret. I'm not gonna tell you why...I don't love you people that much... ;) KIDDING!

I'll be fine... I'll venture out of this place one time or another.. :D

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Snow White.. Sleeping Beauty.. and Everything in Between

Hehe... I loved that cartoon when I was a kid, as a matter of fact, I think I still do! When I first saw it, I was only two years old and I could only pronounce the name as "Sow White" (thank God I could say white!).
The Sleeping Beauty. I loved the hundred years part.. and how the kiss of true love wakes her up! so.. romantic...

Hehe... I loved that cartoon when I was a kid, as a matter of fact, I think I still do! When I first saw it, I was only two years old and I could only pronounce the name as "Sow White" (thank God I could say white!).

This post is to sort of embrace the fact that I still do have that love for cartoons in me.

My next favorite is Cinderella. I first saw it when I was two and a half.....It was breath taking! My favorite moment was when Prince Charming and Cinderella danced at the ball and this song comes on.. I think it's called, "So This is Love". It was very touching and even at the young age of two... I felt it.

I've also loved the Rapunzel.. although there is no cartoon... My aunt read me the story and I really REALLY liked it! At first, she was stuck in a tower and oh-so sad!... but then she falls deeply in love and lets her hair down a freaking tower for the guy! Talk about daring and divine!

This has been a weird post... but it definitely was fun to let out the little girl in me.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Begin the Begin A.K.A Count to 10, Start Over

“And let the breezes of today, take away the petals of the past…”

New beginnings. That is the new headline in my world. A fresh start. Sounds sooooo good. It was actually the whole point of getting a new haircut; to start fresh. I believe that even the worst of us is are allowed to a that. To slop off all the bad and make room for the future. Who gets to determine when the old ends and the new begins? It’s not on a calendar, it’s not a birthday, not a new year, it’s an event —big or small, something that changes us, ideally it gives us hope, a new way of living and looking at the world, letting go of old habits, old memories. What's important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning, but it's also important to remember amid all the crap are a few things really worth holding on to……

Thursday, August 14, 2008

I've Got Sunshine on a Cloudy Day

"Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone. And do not trouble about the future for it is yet to come. Live in the present and make it so beautiful, that it will be worth remembering." - Idus

I have been thinking a lot lately..... hehe.. that's right.. me.. thinking...thinking.. THINKING!!!!
And I have finally decided to be an optimist. So... my glass is half-full.. and I've got a smile on my face. I'm not kidding.. I'm just happy, I guess.. Because for once in my life.. everything is PERFECT!! There's me, family, girlfriends, guy-friends and school!!

I'm all smiles.. and sun shines..GOD! I sound like a bad pop song..

PS. miss you malees! Rimmie.. please feel free to comment!!