One of those.. TAGS!!!

I am: trying to change.
I think: therefore I am.
I know: you'll probably think this is a load of crap!
I want: to find something a bit more solid to write about
I have: tons of friends and people I love :D
I wish: I had more friends and people I love.. yes, apparently.. I'm greedy! (Who knew??)
I hate: nothing at all! I became all that I hated, so I stopped hating.
I miss: last year.. the entire year!! (Mafaxo, Sama, Nashith and I!!!)
I fear: crowds of people... I seriously don't get why people have to crowd... it's not like it's GOOD
I hear: people talking. Love em!! Their noises assure me that I am not alone!
I smell: like Body Butter.. Shea :) ( The Body Shop.. lurvvee it!!)
I crave: chocolate cake!! I don't get why it's SOOOOO utterly delicious!
I search: for something... I don't even know what it is!
I wonder: if there is a punishment for Mafaxo for teasing as well! Not that I wish to indulge in it, but I might if no one’s penalizing me for it.
I regret: making the wrong choice... (I'm gonna say the veryyy mysteriously)
I love: you-know-who... and I most certainly don't mean Voldemort!
I ache: for God knows what..
I was not: the same person yesterday!
I am not: an obsessive person
I cry: when... uhhh.. WHEN???
I believe: in happy endings, fairy tales and... LOL prince charming!!
I dance: like a crazy person.. yes.. I am lying.. I am a good dancer.. :P
I sing: in the shower.. sometimes, I happen to be a very good bathroom singer with a solo album of 22 hits! :P
I read: wayyy too much! My mum is trying to throw away most of em.. because I'm evolving into a bookworm... (Like, that's possible for her to throw em away!!!)
I don’t always: joke around! Someone please take me seriously!!!
I fight: for men’s rights!! (Only the sexy ones)
I write: love notes on walls of historic buildings!
I win: thumb-wrestling games with my bro.. (younger bro.. of course!)
I lose: my temper very easily!
I never: leave home without eyeliner n mascara :P ( except for school.. but i do break that rule sometimes.. I am SUCH a rebel.. teehee :P )
I always: have a spare hair band in case my hair goes wildly insane!
I confuse: everything and everyone around.. sometimes even myself!!
I listen: only when you talk sense.... the rest of the time.. I'm the just nodding along!
I can usually be found: on MSN I know my life sucks! :P
I am scared: of myself.. I know.. I can destroy my own self.
I need: some money! Actually a lot of money for the JimmyChoo’s :P
I am happy: on my birthday... even if I don't get anything...
I imagine: your state if you’ve really read this post till this full stop.

Love....

What it means to me......
Love means:

• feeling absurdly high and knowing sure as hell you're not on drugs
• having a reason to smile during the day even though the day is total crap
• being inspired by it to never give up hope on the childish fantasy of having a happily ever after and prince charming
• losing all righteousness and being wild, wacky and down right outrageous
• knowing that even if you yell, even if he yells, you both will still be there for each other (that kind of reassurance is what people need, I tell you!!)
• not giving a crap when you eat that last piece of chocolate cake because you know he'll tell you look great anyways... (just kidding with this one, the truthful types tell the truth no matter what)
• (in connection with the point above) that you'll spend the next few minutes arguing about the fact that you've got extra point while mischievously laughing about it because you both know you're just kidding
• not caring about the fact that even though it is risky and a bad idea... and still doing it anyways.. :D
• feeling like jumping in the air, dancing around and singing corny songs for absolutely no reason
• knowing there's no such thing as time... time loses all meaning with love
• stopping signing letter to your close friends with love, because you have letters to someone else to sign them THAT way
• having no subject out of limits... (I seriously do mean NO subjects) LOLZ!
• you stop envying the girl on TV for getting the hot guy because you know that yours is a million times better!
• the start looking at roses (which you previously HATED) and started thinking that maybe people weren't exactly THAT stupid about being so crazy about roses
• laughing together for hours and thinking that it has only been a few minutes (kinda goes with the time thing... WHO CARES!!!??)
  
• reading soppy love poems and listening to songs that makes you realize that they were not so bad after all
• painting using the shades of red and pink all the time.. SERIOUSLY! It gets annoying at one point...
• drawing hearts all over your textbook, notebooks and anything else you get your hands on! (my mum kills me about this one... though I don't intend on stopping, teehee!)
• doodling love quotes on the pages of your sketchbook
• feeling like getting up bright and early (which you normally would NEVER do) because it's another day with HIM/HER!!
• reading this whole infernal thing and making your own list of stuff about you!

See... see, what you keep doing to me. I do not ramble on and on like this. Lolz! So... what does love mean to you? Do you love LOVe, or hate LOVE (shame on you if the latter is so!)??

Blue Tears

* Blue tears is actually a poem written by my BFF Malees... I loved it and couldn't think of any other title for this post.

A, cried in school today. It was heart-breaking. Poor guy... I guess you never expect someone whom you think you're going to spend forever with to break your heart and leave you to sweep up all the messy pieces. Why does that all sound TOO familiar???

Anyways, Rimie is hosting a roadha villun thing in her house... Can't wait for it! We have this huge plan for it (by we, I mean me, Manaal, Rimie and Isse) and hopefully, all runs smoothly and A, will brighten up!

After all this sad talk, I seriously need something brighter... although, this is supposed to be a sad post. So.. nevermind the happiness and let this be sad. Uggghh.. when did it get so complicated to be a human being.. Great! Now I'm jealous of Stonehenge people! Lolz!

Sunday Scribbles

~ Went back to school.. which was totally AWESOME! I had no idea I missed all those people. LOL! I even missed Ms. Z our class teacher. That part got me kinda surprised because I HAD NO IDEA I missed her until I saw her and burst out laughing. I hadn't laughed like that in a loooong time. Felt good to be back.

~ Did not finish my Dhivehi homework. LOL! No surprise there. Same as usual... only this time, it's FREE TOPIC. I HATE FREE TOPIC! I'm never going to get this one done.. I swear..

~ Chocolate cake... I seem to be eating too much of that. But I like venting with it... I know, I KNOW! I CAN'T KEEP VENTING WITH CAKE! I SERIOUSLY need to find something as a replacement.. any ideas, people??

~ Turtles and Garfield... ode to childish obsessions we never seem to let go.. :D

Anyways, I loved this Sunday.. better than all the rest so far... and things seem to keep looking up.. :D

When the Stars Go Blue

"Where do you go when you're lonely?
Where do you go when you're blue?
I'll follow you... When the stars go blue..."
-Ryan Adams, When the Stars Go Blue

OK.. the whole positive thing I kept on going about... I guess it was a whole load of crap because I am now my normal self and pessimistic as ever. It feels good being myself again! The whole optimistic thing was... different, I guess. I'm glad I did venture into that whole avenue... but I'm done venturing.

The reason I realized I was back to my pessimistic being was when I cried while watching a Private Practice episode... I admit. IT WAS PATHETIC!! I mean, who in God's name cries while watching TV? Unless the thing they are watching is sad... but what I was watching was definitely not sad! I don't even know what came over me... I was suddenly bawling about phantom pains and struggles... stuff deep, deep, DEEP down below. The ones I buried out of shame, fear and anger. The real pathetic stuff which I haven't bothered to tell anyone.

And then comes the big question: WHY?????
Answer: Hell if I know. Maybe because... I needed to believe I could get over it. But I never did. And the pile keeps growing. Damn...

I even felt lonely... a tiny bit of loneliness mixed with all that regret. I'm not gonna tell you why...I don't love you people that much... ;) KIDDING!

I'll be fine... I'll venture out of this place one time or another.. :D

Snow White.. Sleeping Beauty.. and Everything in Between

Hehe... I loved that cartoon when I was a kid, as a matter of fact, I think I still do! When I first saw it, I was only two years old and I could only pronounce the name as "Sow White" (thank God I could say white!).
The Sleeping Beauty. I loved the hundred years part.. and how the kiss of true love wakes her up! so.. romantic...

Hehe... I loved that cartoon when I was a kid, as a matter of fact, I think I still do! When I first saw it, I was only two years old and I could only pronounce the name as "Sow White" (thank God I could say white!).

This post is to sort of embrace the fact that I still do have that love for cartoons in me.

My next favorite is Cinderella. I first saw it when I was two and a half.....It was breath taking! My favorite moment was when Prince Charming and Cinderella danced at the ball and this song comes on.. I think it's called, "So This is Love". It was very touching and even at the young age of two... I felt it.

I've also loved the Rapunzel.. although there is no cartoon... My aunt read me the story and I really REALLY liked it! At first, she was stuck in a tower and oh-so sad!... but then she falls deeply in love and lets her hair down a freaking tower for the guy! Talk about daring and divine!

This has been a weird post... but it definitely was fun to let out the little girl in me.

Begin the Begin A.K.A Count to 10, Start Over

“And let the breezes of today, take away the petals of the past…”

New beginnings. That is the new headline in my world. A fresh start. Sounds sooooo good. It was actually the whole point of getting a new haircut; to start fresh. I believe that even the worst of us is are allowed to a that. To slop off all the bad and make room for the future. Who gets to determine when the old ends and the new begins? It’s not on a calendar, it’s not a birthday, not a new year, it’s an event —big or small, something that changes us, ideally it gives us hope, a new way of living and looking at the world, letting go of old habits, old memories. What's important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning, but it's also important to remember amid all the crap are a few things really worth holding on to……